..I'm Alive..

Hi everyone!!!!

I am so sorry for my lack of posts!  I've been so busy with school and life in general that I have neglected by bloggie and youtube friends!  We haven't made a decision yet on what we want to do in regards to having a baby.  We had to put things on hold till Jan when my job becomes permanent so that we have IF coverage again.  Then everything from tests to treatments will be covered except donor IVF!  We have a lot to think about.  We really want to buy a house before our lease is up the end of Feb and then try for a baby.  But there are somethings we have to consider..that if we try my eggs one or two more times, we can't wait forever because of my Endo growing and taking over.  I am not on any treatments right now for the Endo so I have no idea what is going on inside.  I am still having pains just not as intense for the most part.

AF has been weird and irregular.  I just had my first period last week without being induced by Provera.  I've had two periods since my my surgery last March.  The Lupron really screwed my body up.  I've been experiencing some joint/bone pain which is a side effect of Lupron which causes bone loss.  It also can lead to Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I have been having an intense amount of pain in my right arm in my elbow area.  It hurts to type and the pain is radiating down to my fingers.  My arm is in a constant dull aching pain and goes in and out from feeling numb.  I knew this could happen, I just didn't realize it couldn't happen so soon or that it would even happen to me.  I'm 100% positive this is what it is, but I've never experienced this pain before and it started after I started taking Lupron.  So once I'm insured through work starting Jan. 10, I have to go see a Rheumatologist.  I'm just trying to take things one day at a time.

The Mock Embryo Transfer is where we left off with our treatments with our new RE.  So once Jan. comes, I'll be scheduling this procedure for sometime in Jan and get everything done we need to in order to start either IVF with my eggs or Donor Egg IVF.  If we do Donor Egg IVF, we have some additional things we have to complete but I don't want to do these until I know if we are going this route or not.

The holiday's are always hard!  I just pray that I am able to enjoy myself and just think of all the positives in my life.  It doesn't matter how hard I try to avoid pregnant woman, they are every where in my life and some days it makes me just want to SCREAM!  I'm very happy for those who are close to me who are either ttc or who are pregnant, but it doesn't take the pain away just because they are my friends or my family!  Those of you struggling with IF understand this pain I feel.

I have a lot to say but my arm/hand can't take anymore typing for tonight.  I'll do an update again soon.   Thanks everyone for your continued support and love!  Praying for everyone in their ttc journey!


Much love,
Lauren