Yesterday I had my 2nd Lupron Depot shot. Ouch! The nurse really knows how to jab that long needle right into my muscle in my booty! My DH does them so much better. They require me to come in which is so lame when my DH knows how to do them...he gave me these same kind of shots except they were progesterone for 2 weeks and they still say I have to come in. So irritating. So 2 down and 1 more to go on June 23. We are getting closer and closer to July and I'm more excited than ever.
Overall, the side effects have been mild. Nothing too out of control. Well I've noticed over the past week or so that my mood has changed. I'm irritated easily and my DH really gets on my nerves. I'm fine when I'm at work, and then as soon as I get home I'm so pissy and just want to be left alone. All I feel like doing is screaming or yelling at someone. It's pretty intense. I've had to walk away from a few situations to calm down and so far it's working. My walks definitely help. People just in general are irritating me. I'm already an emotional person and my emotions are out of control right now. I'm thinking it's probably because of the Lupron. I can't find any other reason why. Everything in my life is going well and there is no real reason for me to feel so down. I'm coping with the moodiness pretty well and DH seems to be ok with it. He keeps asking me "are you in a mood" and I say no because I don't want to start anything. I hate when he asks this..his Mom asks me the same thing and it's so annoying to me. No need to ask this stupid question in my opinion. All it does is put me in more of a mood. My body has had a month to process the Lupron and they say the 2nd-3rd month gets better so we'll see.
I was scheduled to have my 2nd cryo surgery tomorrow to remove precancerous cells from my cervix, but I had to reschedule for next Wednesday at noon. I'm nervous again because it's was really uncomfortable last time and it hurt. I'm hoping this time is better. I'm one of those individuals who did NOT get this from HPV thank the Lord. I just have them and we don't know why. The only thing that really bothers me about the procedure, is the more times you have it, the harder it is for your cervix to dilate. Most woman end up having c-sections because their cervix won't dilate past 1-2. This is ok with me. As much as I want to have the experience of child birth, I know what it feels like to be cut open and what the recovery is like so I know I can handle it. Maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones and actually fully dilate!
Other than that, I'm doing pretty good. I'm super hungry lately which is driving me crazy! I sit at my desk for 8 hours and I'll I want to do is snack and snack on bad stuff! I feel good and that is what matters.
I just want August to be here. I want to know if we are having our baby or not! I pray this is our time! Please Lord!
Hope everyone is doing well!
Lauren
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
..worrying and the what-ifs..
Hi blog friends!
I hope everyone had a nice weekend.
I've been off-track this past week and I can feel it!
Today is a new day and focused on being more disciplined.
I didn't do terrible, I just had a harder time sticking to my IVF diet due to our busy weekend last weekend and no grocery shopping. It was hard to find things that I could eat that followed my IVF diet. Haven't had the chance to walk and it's driving me crazy! The freaking rain just won't stop. I hate working out in doors, but at this point, I don't think I have much choice. It's gloomy out right now so I have no clue what I'm going to do tonight.
For the most part I still feel really positive and hopeful about things. I'm really trying to stay focused. Sadly, the doubt and worry slip in here and there. This weekend was hard. I don't know why. I was more emotional and kept thinking about if this doesn't work, how am I going to feel and how am I going to deal with the sadness and heartache? It's a feeling I never want to feel again. I'm constantly looking at the future and what our lives will be like in the next 9 months if I do become pregnant. They are HAPPY thoughts and these are the thoughts that I hold onto tight. I don't want them to go away. They feel real and they bring me so much peace. The months/days leading up to an IVF cycle are so exciting. You don't know the outcome yet and all you can focus on is the possibility of this really working. The fear sets in and all you can do is just hold on and ride the roller coaster that you pray ends in a BFP! I know it's out of my control what the outcome is. I just wish I knew how it would turn out. I'm terrified of the feelings I will feel if it doesn't work.
It might not be so terrifying if I knew we could try again right away. But I don't know if we can. It all depends on how much this cycle costs and if we have $$$ left over. Otherwise, we have to find $20,000 to fund 6 more cycles. I just have to remember that it's normal to have these feelings and there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I have to keep trusting in God and trust that he will listen to our prayers and answer the desires of my heart.
All I keep thinking about is hearing the news "congrats your pregnant" and how it will all feel! Last night I had a visual of me having our baby and my husband seeing him/her for the first time. It was the most precious sight ever!=) I can't wait for this day!
Overall, I'm doing great! Lots of exciting things happening and I look forward to what God has in store for us!
***NEGATIVE THINKING NOT ALLOWED***
***BRING ON THE POSITIVITY***
STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!
Lauren
I hope everyone had a nice weekend.
I've been off-track this past week and I can feel it!
Today is a new day and focused on being more disciplined.
I didn't do terrible, I just had a harder time sticking to my IVF diet due to our busy weekend last weekend and no grocery shopping. It was hard to find things that I could eat that followed my IVF diet. Haven't had the chance to walk and it's driving me crazy! The freaking rain just won't stop. I hate working out in doors, but at this point, I don't think I have much choice. It's gloomy out right now so I have no clue what I'm going to do tonight.
For the most part I still feel really positive and hopeful about things. I'm really trying to stay focused. Sadly, the doubt and worry slip in here and there. This weekend was hard. I don't know why. I was more emotional and kept thinking about if this doesn't work, how am I going to feel and how am I going to deal with the sadness and heartache? It's a feeling I never want to feel again. I'm constantly looking at the future and what our lives will be like in the next 9 months if I do become pregnant. They are HAPPY thoughts and these are the thoughts that I hold onto tight. I don't want them to go away. They feel real and they bring me so much peace. The months/days leading up to an IVF cycle are so exciting. You don't know the outcome yet and all you can focus on is the possibility of this really working. The fear sets in and all you can do is just hold on and ride the roller coaster that you pray ends in a BFP! I know it's out of my control what the outcome is. I just wish I knew how it would turn out. I'm terrified of the feelings I will feel if it doesn't work.
It might not be so terrifying if I knew we could try again right away. But I don't know if we can. It all depends on how much this cycle costs and if we have $$$ left over. Otherwise, we have to find $20,000 to fund 6 more cycles. I just have to remember that it's normal to have these feelings and there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I have to keep trusting in God and trust that he will listen to our prayers and answer the desires of my heart.
All I keep thinking about is hearing the news "congrats your pregnant" and how it will all feel! Last night I had a visual of me having our baby and my husband seeing him/her for the first time. It was the most precious sight ever!=) I can't wait for this day!
Overall, I'm doing great! Lots of exciting things happening and I look forward to what God has in store for us!
***NEGATIVE THINKING NOT ALLOWED***
***BRING ON THE POSITIVITY***
STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!
Lauren
Thursday, May 20, 2010
..Topic: IVF babies shouldn't get babyshowers!..
So yesterday on my way to work I was listening to the radio(99.5 the Kane Show) and the topic of IVF babies and baby showers came up. This lady called in asking for their opinion if it was right or not that her friend was having a baby shower for her baby that was made through IVF! I was appalled. I couldn't believe what she was saying. She stated that she thinks that IVF babies are not worthy of baby showers because they were conceived in a dish. Are you freaking kidding me? It's a BABY no matter how it was conceived or where it came from. It's a miracle and a blessing that couples are able to have a child through IVF. The baby is no different than one conceived naturally. I hate the way some people view infertility treatments. Just makes me sick.
I know for my husband and I, we are blessed to have been given another opportunity to try IVF again. We are one of those unlucky couples who cannot conceive naturally and without infertility treatments, we would not be able to have a child of our own. How can this be considered wrong? My husbands family is very Catholic. I was baptized Catholic about a year ago to be married in a Catholic Church with a full mass. I was raised protestant and still consider myself a protestant. I had to go through 9 months of classes in order to be baptized. Of course the topic of birth control and conceiving came up. Birth Control is looked down upon and IVF is not accepted. They believe that if God wanted you and your husband to have children, you would. If your infertile, seeking out infertility treatments is against what the Catholic church believes. They believe you should accept not being able to have children and accept your life without them. I think adoption is ok in the Catholic Church, but I'm not positive. Knowing this information, it makes me really nervous and uncomfortable for his family members to find out how we conceived our child. It's not that we want to keep it a secret, we just don't want to hear their opinions in how wrong we are. It's not about them, it's about what my husband and I want and what we believe. His close family members, are supportive and my family is very supportive. Ignorant people really bother me and however my baby is conceived it deserves to be celebrated! My apologies if I have explained wrong what Catholics believe . This is what I was taught from the Church I was married in. I don't have bad things to say about the Catholic faith, I just don't agree with some of their teachings.
I hope that people can be more accepting of babies born by infertility treatments. It's such a controversial issue and it really shouldn't be. Thankfully, for the most part the people that I have shared my story with understand and support us. Our baby will be just as loved as if it were conceived naturally!
It's my journey, my decision and my choice to go down this path of IVF and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think this is what God wanted for us! I truly believe this. This wasn't an easy decision to make. We are so excited for this next journey and are ready to embrace everything that comes with it!
Lauren
I know for my husband and I, we are blessed to have been given another opportunity to try IVF again. We are one of those unlucky couples who cannot conceive naturally and without infertility treatments, we would not be able to have a child of our own. How can this be considered wrong? My husbands family is very Catholic. I was baptized Catholic about a year ago to be married in a Catholic Church with a full mass. I was raised protestant and still consider myself a protestant. I had to go through 9 months of classes in order to be baptized. Of course the topic of birth control and conceiving came up. Birth Control is looked down upon and IVF is not accepted. They believe that if God wanted you and your husband to have children, you would. If your infertile, seeking out infertility treatments is against what the Catholic church believes. They believe you should accept not being able to have children and accept your life without them. I think adoption is ok in the Catholic Church, but I'm not positive. Knowing this information, it makes me really nervous and uncomfortable for his family members to find out how we conceived our child. It's not that we want to keep it a secret, we just don't want to hear their opinions in how wrong we are. It's not about them, it's about what my husband and I want and what we believe. His close family members, are supportive and my family is very supportive. Ignorant people really bother me and however my baby is conceived it deserves to be celebrated! My apologies if I have explained wrong what Catholics believe . This is what I was taught from the Church I was married in. I don't have bad things to say about the Catholic faith, I just don't agree with some of their teachings.
I hope that people can be more accepting of babies born by infertility treatments. It's such a controversial issue and it really shouldn't be. Thankfully, for the most part the people that I have shared my story with understand and support us. Our baby will be just as loved as if it were conceived naturally!
It's my journey, my decision and my choice to go down this path of IVF and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think this is what God wanted for us! I truly believe this. This wasn't an easy decision to make. We are so excited for this next journey and are ready to embrace everything that comes with it!
Lauren
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
..July 2nd, 2010..
::I am so happy to report that I officially have a date for my 1st appointment for IVF#2 with our new Clinic::
July 2nd, 2010 @ 1:00pm!=)
I have a day to finally countdown to. This makes it feel so much more real! New health insurance{finally}, new RE{thank you Jesus} and new::attitude::things are looking good!
I'm hoping that since my system is already shutdown by the Loestrin 24{BCP} and the Lupron shot that I won't have to do the two week suppression before my stims{injections} would start. If I go on 7/2 for my 1st appointment and I don't have to do the suppression, then when we got back from CALI on 7/18 my cycle could most likely start that week once my period starts.
Just to make my little brain happy, here is what my cycle could look like tentatively:
Micro-dose Lupron Protocol:
7/2/2010: Consultation with new fertility clinic
7/15/2010: Stop BCP to let AF start
7/19/2010: First Baseline U/S & BW appointment
If all looks good, start stims that night for roughly 2 weeks
8/1-8/6: Tentative ER date
8/1-8/6: Tentative ET date
8/15-8/20: 1st Beta
EDD: May 2011 Baby
I most likely know that I will be on the Micro-does Lupron protocol based on what my last Re told me and explained to me. That the Antagon Protocol did not work, so next we try a more aggressive approach with the Micro-dose Lupron protocol due to my Premature Ovarian Failure. But this could change. I don't care what protocol I'm on, I just want to get our BFP!
Feeling pretty good today. Not as bloated thankfully - it was starting to make me not very hungry. I could barely eat dinner last night. So I hope tonight I have a better appetite.
The countwdown is on: 45 days till my appointment.
::If you share a similar story being diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and had a successul IVF, I would love to know what protocol you were on and which one's didn't work for you. Feel free to leave me a comment or email me::
Thanks for your continuted support!
Lauren
July 2nd, 2010 @ 1:00pm!=)
I have a day to finally countdown to. This makes it feel so much more real! New health insurance{finally}, new RE{thank you Jesus} and new::attitude::things are looking good!
I'm hoping that since my system is already shutdown by the Loestrin 24{BCP} and the Lupron shot that I won't have to do the two week suppression before my stims{injections} would start. If I go on 7/2 for my 1st appointment and I don't have to do the suppression, then when we got back from CALI on 7/18 my cycle could most likely start that week once my period starts.
Just to make my little brain happy, here is what my cycle could look like tentatively:
Micro-dose Lupron Protocol:
7/2/2010: Consultation with new fertility clinic
7/15/2010: Stop BCP to let AF start
7/19/2010: First Baseline U/S & BW appointment
If all looks good, start stims that night for roughly 2 weeks
8/1-8/6: Tentative ER date
8/1-8/6: Tentative ET date
8/15-8/20: 1st Beta
EDD: May 2011 Baby
I most likely know that I will be on the Micro-does Lupron protocol based on what my last Re told me and explained to me. That the Antagon Protocol did not work, so next we try a more aggressive approach with the Micro-dose Lupron protocol due to my Premature Ovarian Failure. But this could change. I don't care what protocol I'm on, I just want to get our BFP!
Feeling pretty good today. Not as bloated thankfully - it was starting to make me not very hungry. I could barely eat dinner last night. So I hope tonight I have a better appetite.
The countwdown is on: 45 days till my appointment.
::If you share a similar story being diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and had a successul IVF, I would love to know what protocol you were on and which one's didn't work for you. Feel free to leave me a comment or email me::
Thanks for your continuted support!
Lauren
Monday, May 17, 2010
..I feel gReAt..
I haven't had the chance to give an update in a few days and I miss posting. It's Monday and I typically HATE Monday's because I feel so crappy, but I don't feel so bad today. I'm tired but that is probably my only complaint. Well, I have some serious bloating going on which is making me look like I'm about 3 months pregnant but it's nothing I can't handle. hehe
Day 13
I was able to get my walk in thanks to the rain letting up. I didn't realize what a difference the walking has made. It helps so much with my bloating. We went to CPK for dinner and I did pretty well with my food choice - pasta that seemed to be pretty healthy. But of course got a darn flavored iced tea and this is cheating to me. It is so hard to not drink caffeine. I know that it's ok to have some right now, I just want to get my body prepared for when I am pregnant so it's not such a shock. So I've definitely cut down, I would say I may have caffeine about 3-4 times a week. I don't think that's so bad.
Day 14-16
My parents are in town so we spent the weekend with them at their TownHouse here in VA. I knew that it would be hard to stick to my IVF diet but figured hey, they are in town for such a short time, we are celebrating mother's day I can splurge a little. I felt soooooooooo crappy all weekend! Everything I ate made me feel so tired and gave me the worst bloated gut all weekend. I was so uncomfortable I was like NO MORE FOOD PLEASE.
Friday night we had Italian. I ordered a pomodoro pasta that is suppose to be healthy and I did ok with it. Sat lunch was Five Guys{bloating began}, Italian again for dinner another big mistake. I thought I was going to fart out my entire insides I was so bloated and gassy inside. I even walked for an hour on Sat. and I still felt this crappy. I woke up Sunday morning still bloated but it had gone down some. We had chipotle for lunch was ok, then Italian again for mother's day haha!=) Can you tell we love Italian? This actually agreed with me. I was bloated still but not neither as bad. I wasn't eating my normal breakfasts foods and I know this wasn't helping.
Not being on my routine really affects my body now. This is a good thing because this means the changes that I have made are working. I'm proud of myself for sticking with this. It's not easy giving up foods that I love so much, but if it means we get our baby, I'll do anything!!!!! We are so excited for this next chapter in our lives. We are sooooooo ready! Everything is just falling into place so nicely. Everything just feels right.
We have one more night out with the rents and fam for dinner tonight and I'm hoping they have something healthy but substantial on the menu that won't make me feel so dang bloated. Back to my whole routine tomorrow. Of course it has to be raining again. Thread mill may be my friend this week!=(
For the most part, I am still very hopeful and positive about things. Every once in awhile the doubt slips in but I make it go away pretty quickly. No matter how much I worry about things, it's not going to change the outcome. It's hard to let God take control. To trust that He knows best and that his timing is the right timing. I've never been more hopeful or positive about anything before until now. I won't deny that I'm not afraid of another BFN! I'm terrified! I day dream about our little family every night before I go to sleep as I'm lying in bed. It's what puts me to sleep. This is a happy time for me. Seeing our baby with us in our new house{which the house thing is actually happening} is the greatest visual for me. Seeing my hubby with our little {girl} is the most priceless picture! I just love it!=)
We have been given an amazing gift from my parents for a down payment for a house and this makes everything feel so surreal. We wanted nothing more than to have our first home together by the time our baby was born. It's actually going to happen. We are paying off a credit card and hope to be looking at houses in the next week or two. So you could say that we are doing great and on cloud 9 right now! Everything feels so right finally.
We are ready to embrace this next step in our lives of raising a child. We just pray that everything goes smoothly and that there are no complications in the process of getting to our BFP!
I called our new Fertility Clinic today to see if they have the July schedule up just yet and I'm just waiting for a call back. I'm so anxious to get this new patient appointment set up. I want the date to be able to count down to! haha
I hope everyone is doing well.
Keep the faith, don't loose hope and trust in the Lord!
Lauren
Day 13
I was able to get my walk in thanks to the rain letting up. I didn't realize what a difference the walking has made. It helps so much with my bloating. We went to CPK for dinner and I did pretty well with my food choice - pasta that seemed to be pretty healthy. But of course got a darn flavored iced tea and this is cheating to me. It is so hard to not drink caffeine. I know that it's ok to have some right now, I just want to get my body prepared for when I am pregnant so it's not such a shock. So I've definitely cut down, I would say I may have caffeine about 3-4 times a week. I don't think that's so bad.
Day 14-16
My parents are in town so we spent the weekend with them at their TownHouse here in VA. I knew that it would be hard to stick to my IVF diet but figured hey, they are in town for such a short time, we are celebrating mother's day I can splurge a little. I felt soooooooooo crappy all weekend! Everything I ate made me feel so tired and gave me the worst bloated gut all weekend. I was so uncomfortable I was like NO MORE FOOD PLEASE.
Friday night we had Italian. I ordered a pomodoro pasta that is suppose to be healthy and I did ok with it. Sat lunch was Five Guys{bloating began}, Italian again for dinner another big mistake. I thought I was going to fart out my entire insides I was so bloated and gassy inside. I even walked for an hour on Sat. and I still felt this crappy. I woke up Sunday morning still bloated but it had gone down some. We had chipotle for lunch was ok, then Italian again for mother's day haha!=) Can you tell we love Italian? This actually agreed with me. I was bloated still but not neither as bad. I wasn't eating my normal breakfasts foods and I know this wasn't helping.
Not being on my routine really affects my body now. This is a good thing because this means the changes that I have made are working. I'm proud of myself for sticking with this. It's not easy giving up foods that I love so much, but if it means we get our baby, I'll do anything!!!!! We are so excited for this next chapter in our lives. We are sooooooo ready! Everything is just falling into place so nicely. Everything just feels right.
We have one more night out with the rents and fam for dinner tonight and I'm hoping they have something healthy but substantial on the menu that won't make me feel so dang bloated. Back to my whole routine tomorrow. Of course it has to be raining again. Thread mill may be my friend this week!=(
For the most part, I am still very hopeful and positive about things. Every once in awhile the doubt slips in but I make it go away pretty quickly. No matter how much I worry about things, it's not going to change the outcome. It's hard to let God take control. To trust that He knows best and that his timing is the right timing. I've never been more hopeful or positive about anything before until now. I won't deny that I'm not afraid of another BFN! I'm terrified! I day dream about our little family every night before I go to sleep as I'm lying in bed. It's what puts me to sleep. This is a happy time for me. Seeing our baby with us in our new house{which the house thing is actually happening} is the greatest visual for me. Seeing my hubby with our little {girl} is the most priceless picture! I just love it!=)
We have been given an amazing gift from my parents for a down payment for a house and this makes everything feel so surreal. We wanted nothing more than to have our first home together by the time our baby was born. It's actually going to happen. We are paying off a credit card and hope to be looking at houses in the next week or two. So you could say that we are doing great and on cloud 9 right now! Everything feels so right finally.
We are ready to embrace this next step in our lives of raising a child. We just pray that everything goes smoothly and that there are no complications in the process of getting to our BFP!
I called our new Fertility Clinic today to see if they have the July schedule up just yet and I'm just waiting for a call back. I'm so anxious to get this new patient appointment set up. I want the date to be able to count down to! haha
I hope everyone is doing well.
Keep the faith, don't loose hope and trust in the Lord!
Lauren
Thursday, May 13, 2010
..Saw you one day, didn't see you the next..
Being a first time IVF'er last summer/beginning of fall I didn't realize the impact a negative pregnancy test would have on me. I saw many (-)HPTs {home pregnancy tests} and just moved onto the next month hoping it would be our month. I never saw anything. Just a (-) on a cheapie pee stick. When you begin a journey of IVF no one tells you what to expect or what you will endure. They tell you the basics{they meaning the Drs}. Fortunately a good friend of mine from High School was going through similar infertility treatments and told me about this wonderful online support group called Daily Strength. This was a god send. It was a place for me to ask all my crazy, worried questions. Most of the woman had experience with IVF and they were a great resource to me. I had so many questions, concerns, and thoughts.
I am know to be a compulsive worrier! I worry about everything under the sun. I obsess over it till I'm sick! Thankfully, I'm being treated for the anxiety and it's been a tremendous help. I experienced a lot of emotions. Some very painful. The days leading up to my Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer were two of the hardest days. We started off with good news, to receive bad news the day of the transfer. We were left with only one surviving embryo. There were a combination of reasons of why only 1 survived and we are hoping with the change in my diet, and vitamins/supplements, it will help to improve my egg quality. That's just one of the many issues.
I didn't know how I was going to get through this. All I could do was think about when we could try again. At that time, waiting was not an option. I didn't care if my ovary was enlarged to about the size of a baseball, or that my body needed time to heal and rest. I just wanted our baby. Now that I look back 7 months later, I realize how important it was that we did wait. I needed time to grieve our loss. No one told me I would go through this process. It was awful. I was so so sad and I could barely get up the energy to move on. Seeing pregnant woman, or hearing of those in my family who just got their BFP's killed me. Especially when one was an accident. Here my husband and I are MARRIED and trying for a baby, but there are people who are not MARRIED and NOT trying and they get pregnant. How is this fair? I questioned everything. I questioned God the most. I did a lot of soul searching over these past 7 months and it's amazing to see where I am at today. I am at peace finally. I trust in God that this happened for a very important reason and that he would never purposely want me to be hurting. He was preparing me for this summer for our next IVF journey. This isn't about what my husband and I want, it's what God wants for our lives and there is no changing this. I've had to learn to trust all over again and believe that he will answer the desires of our hearts.
Knowing what I know now about the journey of IVF, I wish there would have been someone at my clinic who would have told me all of this. Sadly they don't. They don't have the time. Every story is different they say. This is why I started this blog. To help those first timers or to those who just need a friend who shares a similar story.
This blog is not easy for me. It's not easy sharing such a personal journey. Especially one that didn't end so happy. I debated and debated whether or not I want to share this picture with you all. But, there is just something about it that gives me that glimmer of hope! It really hits home when you stop at look at it at realize what a miracle it really is.
Here is our 1st little embryo:
So back to my reason of my post. When conceiving "on your own", you don't see the embryo that you and your DH created. You could be pregnant and not even know it and it turn into a non-viable pregnancy. With IVF, you see the embryo/s. You see the amazing creation that is part of you and your husband. I did NOT KNOW I would get to see the embryo that they would implant into my uterus. How surreal is that? I went from just seeing negatives on pee sticks to actually seeing our baby! On the day of the transfer before the procedure starts, the Dr hands you a framed photo of the embryo/s that will be put in your uterus for implantation. I was in awe. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was our baby. It was part of me and part of my DH! It was the most incredible picture I had ever seen. Seeing this picture made it all so real. So not only have I seen (-) after (-) each month, now I'm seeing a "LIVE" embryo that may or may not make it! This was hard to accept. I then had to wait two weeks{TTW) to find out if the embryo survived. These were two of the hardest weeks I have ever experienced. I had a mental picture of the embryo becoming a viable pregnancy. Two weeks later, on 10/9/2009 I went in to my Clinic for my first beta{pregnancy blood test}. This was at 7am and I didn't find out the results till about 2pm. I'm sorry to say Lauren, but your not pregnant! I was devastated. I'll I could see was our embryo somewhere implanted in my uterus. But no, this miracle that we created didn't survive in my womb. I hated at that moment that I saw our embryo that was transferred. I wanted to go back in time and erase the moment we first saw the picture. I didn't want to know what it looked like. Hearing a (-) without seeing this precious little picture would have been much easier. It still would have been devastating after all the time, energy and money we spent in trying to make this work. I kept the picture on my nightstand for a long time. I looked at "her"{always felt it was a girl and so did my Mom} everyday and just cried. I told her how sorry I was that my uterus didn't embrace her and keep her. I felt like I had failed that my body had failed this amazing gift. So many thoughts ran through my head. One of the biggest questions I had was, where does the embryo go if it doesn't implant? Does your body absorb it or will I bleed out the embryo?
I didn't know how I was going to get through this. All I could do was think about when we could try again. At that time, waiting was not an option. I didn't care if my ovary was enlarged to about the size of a baseball, or that my body needed time to heal and rest. I just wanted our baby. Now that I look back 7 months later, I realize how important it was that we did wait. I needed time to grieve our loss. No one told me I would go through this process. It was awful. I was so so sad and I could barely get up the energy to move on. Seeing pregnant woman, or hearing of those in my family who just got their BFP's killed me. Especially when one was an accident. Here my husband and I are MARRIED and trying for a baby, but there are people who are not MARRIED and NOT trying and they get pregnant. How is this fair? I questioned everything. I questioned God the most. I did a lot of soul searching over these past 7 months and it's amazing to see where I am at today. I am at peace finally. I trust in God that this happened for a very important reason and that he would never purposely want me to be hurting. He was preparing me for this summer for our next IVF journey. This isn't about what my husband and I want, it's what God wants for our lives and there is no changing this. I've had to learn to trust all over again and believe that he will answer the desires of our hearts.
Knowing what I know now about the journey of IVF, I wish there would have been someone at my clinic who would have told me all of this. Sadly they don't. They don't have the time. Every story is different they say. This is why I started this blog. To help those first timers or to those who just need a friend who shares a similar story.
This blog is not easy for me. It's not easy sharing such a personal journey. Especially one that didn't end so happy. I debated and debated whether or not I want to share this picture with you all. But, there is just something about it that gives me that glimmer of hope! It really hits home when you stop at look at it at realize what a miracle it really is.
Here is our 1st little embryo:
created on 9/26/2009
Just a little background on this embryo:
* This is a 2-cell embryo. They typically transfer 4+ cell embryos. But since I was only left with one, they wanted to give it the best chance possible so they transferred it before it could divide again.
* The best stage to transfer an embryo is at the Blastocyst stage. For more information on Blastocysts, go here!
Day 5 Blastocyst
* Embryo Transfers typically happen between day 3 & day 5. In my situation they were afraid that my embryo would die before the transfer so they decided it was best to do a 2 day transfer with the hopes that the embryo would continue to divide once implanted.
IVF is an incredible journey! It's amazing to be able to see the process up close and personal. I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity and even more blessed that we have been given another chance. Praying for God's will everyday!
Don't give up hope! This will happen for you.
BABY DUST TO ALL!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
..Amazed at what words can do..
I started this new blog as a way to express my feelings and a way to reach out to others. Well it has. I have received some of the nicest comments about how inspiring I am! I never thought in a million years I would hear such things or even get this kind of feedback. It truly shows me the impact it has on others when we share our personal journeys of IF. I'm not one who goes around looking for compliments or for positive feedback on things that I do. It's not easy to share a journey of infertility. Infertility is a very lonely journey and not a lot of people understand this. Never in a million years did I think I would be dealing with this. I've accepted it. This has not been easy. I know that there is nothing I can do to change it. God has me in this situation for a reason and I'm confident that he will answer the desires of our hearts! You have to BELIEVE! It's that simple. God doesn't want me to suffer, nor does he want you to suffer. He is here to take on our burdens to allow us to live in peace. Just BELIEVE and you shall RECEIVE!
I thought I would share a few of the messages/comments I have received that mean so much to me. The names of those who wrote the messages are left out for privacy reasons.
They mean so much to me:
"I am so glad you have a plan - very empowering. I have my fingers crossed for your summer cycle. I just want it to work for you so badly! You have worked so hard for it (and continue to!) "
"I am so proud of you :) Keep up the great work and the rest will fall into place. You are so inspiring. Go you!!!!! I will keep you in my prayers."
"Lauren, I'm so glad to hear you are up walking and feeling better! You are such an inspiration. God bless!!!"
"So glad to hear things are going better for you. (sorry about your shots that make you sick ) but I love your attitude and outlook on this upcoming IVF. I am so excited with you and for you :) You are doing everything right and God is in the process of making everything perfect for you and DH. I am wishing you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers.If you ever need a friend I will always be here for you :)"
"love reading your posts. You have such faith and enthusiasm. I know this will happen for you. You are still so young and have a lot of time to get healthy and conceive. I know your time will come soon. :)"
"Wow, Wow, Wow!!! You have a plan and a fabulous fabulous attitude. I love it! You have every right to be down in the dumps but you never are.
"I really hope that this is your time, July will be here before you know it, and you have a lot of things to keep you busy till then. I hope the lupron depo side effects go away soon, my friend had those and she didn't care too much for them either."
"Looking forward to your updates. Much love & hugs to you...... :)"
"So I just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of your new blog. I know you went through a tough time the first time around. I am sure you are really helping out many woman out there who have questions upon questions. Reading someones blog who has gone through the process once before is extremely helpful."
Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments/messages! They mean so much to me!
I thought I would share a few of the messages/comments I have received that mean so much to me. The names of those who wrote the messages are left out for privacy reasons.
They mean so much to me:
"I am so glad you have a plan - very empowering. I have my fingers crossed for your summer cycle. I just want it to work for you so badly! You have worked so hard for it (and continue to!) "
"I am so proud of you :) Keep up the great work and the rest will fall into place. You are so inspiring. Go you!!!!! I will keep you in my prayers."
"Lauren, I'm so glad to hear you are up walking and feeling better! You are such an inspiration. God bless!!!"
"So glad to hear things are going better for you. (sorry about your shots that make you sick ) but I love your attitude and outlook on this upcoming IVF. I am so excited with you and for you :) You are doing everything right and God is in the process of making everything perfect for you and DH. I am wishing you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers.If you ever need a friend I will always be here for you :)"
"love reading your posts. You have such faith and enthusiasm. I know this will happen for you. You are still so young and have a lot of time to get healthy and conceive. I know your time will come soon. :)"
"Wow, Wow, Wow!!! You have a plan and a fabulous fabulous attitude. I love it! You have every right to be down in the dumps but you never are.
"I really hope that this is your time, July will be here before you know it, and you have a lot of things to keep you busy till then. I hope the lupron depo side effects go away soon, my friend had those and she didn't care too much for them either."
"Looking forward to your updates. Much love & hugs to you...... :)"
"So I just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of your new blog. I know you went through a tough time the first time around. I am sure you are really helping out many woman out there who have questions upon questions. Reading someones blog who has gone through the process once before is extremely helpful."
Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments/messages! They mean so much to me!
..Update ~ Day 6-11..
Hi everyone!
As you can see I haven't posted an update since Day 5. We had a very busy weekend of moving my MIL and my FIL was in town so I have very little down time. Things went well and we got a lot done. Sunday, Mother's Day was hard this year! Last year, it was just me, my DH, SIL and MIL! Now there was a baby. Things just felt different. As much as I love my niece, it was hard for me to not feel sad. I want to be a Mom more than anything and seeing my SIL with her little girl was bittersweet as well as very emotional for me. I know my time will come. I BELIEVE this with all of my heart. I was able to enjoy the rest of the day with just my DH and it was exactly what I needed.
Day 6-11 went well for the most part. I didn't get my walk in on Thursday which was a bummer and had to wait until Sunday to walk again. I tried to stick to my meal plan as best as I could but I found it was harder not being home or at work. We ate out every meal and it was so tempting to be BAD. The only part I caved on was caffeine. I couldn't resist. I had been so good, I just told myself this is it and when Monday comes, back to no caffeine. This and the sweets have been by far the hardest for me. I have always had a big sweet tooth and all I want to do is eat candy all day at work. Some of the yummy food I had were Salmon and mashed cauliflower from Coastal Flats, Chicken Scaloppine from Macaroni Grill and a delicious Mother's Day brunch at Blue Water. I think I did very well with all the temptations that were around me. I drank decaf coffee which sucked, but didn't taste too bad.
Day 9 I finally got my walk in and it felt wonderful. This has been a huge reason of why I feel so great. I honestly can't tell you the last time I felt so calm and peaceful. I'm not going to lie and say that bad things don't creep into my head, because they do. The past few days I've been thinking about how I'm going to feel during this next IVF cycle. During the two weeks of stims (injections to produce multiple follicles) I feel great emotionally. I'm happy, excited and hopeful. Then the dreaded tww(two week wait until pregnancy test)starts. This is when the doubts really kick in. I worry that it's not going to work. That we will end up with O embryos to freeze and only 1 that survives for the transfer. This is what creeps into my head now and then. Our insurance covers this cycle, and we are hoping we are able to get two cycles out of it for baby #2! Once the $$$ is exhausted, then we are left with paying out-of-pocket $20,000 or waiting a year to try again when we can switch health insurance again to get full infertility coverage again. But, in the end I have to realized that this is all in God's hands. It's His will and His plan. I keep having dreams that it works this time. That everything I have done to prepare is the reason we get our BFP! I feel good about things.
Today, Day 11 I have incorporated Zinc & extra Folic Acid. NOTE-TO-SELF: TAKE WITH FOOD! Zinc helps with egg production, and cell division and Folic Acid is used to help prevent major birth defects of the brain and spine.
Looks like I won't get my walk in tonight. The weather here in the DC area is rainy. I could always use the tread mil in our gym at our apartment complex, but I hate exercising indoors because I get bored and I don't last long.
So things are still good. Trying to stay as positive as I can. I know that we are doing everything we can to make this work this time and this feels good. I can't believe it's already May. July seems like it's right around the corner!=)
I hope everyone is doing well. Praying for those who are waiting for their BFPs and for those who are pregnant!
Lots of sticky baby dust to all!
Lauren
As you can see I haven't posted an update since Day 5. We had a very busy weekend of moving my MIL and my FIL was in town so I have very little down time. Things went well and we got a lot done. Sunday, Mother's Day was hard this year! Last year, it was just me, my DH, SIL and MIL! Now there was a baby. Things just felt different. As much as I love my niece, it was hard for me to not feel sad. I want to be a Mom more than anything and seeing my SIL with her little girl was bittersweet as well as very emotional for me. I know my time will come. I BELIEVE this with all of my heart. I was able to enjoy the rest of the day with just my DH and it was exactly what I needed.
Day 6-11 went well for the most part. I didn't get my walk in on Thursday which was a bummer and had to wait until Sunday to walk again. I tried to stick to my meal plan as best as I could but I found it was harder not being home or at work. We ate out every meal and it was so tempting to be BAD. The only part I caved on was caffeine. I couldn't resist. I had been so good, I just told myself this is it and when Monday comes, back to no caffeine. This and the sweets have been by far the hardest for me. I have always had a big sweet tooth and all I want to do is eat candy all day at work. Some of the yummy food I had were Salmon and mashed cauliflower from Coastal Flats, Chicken Scaloppine from Macaroni Grill and a delicious Mother's Day brunch at Blue Water. I think I did very well with all the temptations that were around me. I drank decaf coffee which sucked, but didn't taste too bad.
Day 9 I finally got my walk in and it felt wonderful. This has been a huge reason of why I feel so great. I honestly can't tell you the last time I felt so calm and peaceful. I'm not going to lie and say that bad things don't creep into my head, because they do. The past few days I've been thinking about how I'm going to feel during this next IVF cycle. During the two weeks of stims (injections to produce multiple follicles) I feel great emotionally. I'm happy, excited and hopeful. Then the dreaded tww(two week wait until pregnancy test)starts. This is when the doubts really kick in. I worry that it's not going to work. That we will end up with O embryos to freeze and only 1 that survives for the transfer. This is what creeps into my head now and then. Our insurance covers this cycle, and we are hoping we are able to get two cycles out of it for baby #2! Once the $$$ is exhausted, then we are left with paying out-of-pocket $20,000 or waiting a year to try again when we can switch health insurance again to get full infertility coverage again. But, in the end I have to realized that this is all in God's hands. It's His will and His plan. I keep having dreams that it works this time. That everything I have done to prepare is the reason we get our BFP! I feel good about things.
Today, Day 11 I have incorporated Zinc & extra Folic Acid. NOTE-TO-SELF: TAKE WITH FOOD! Zinc helps with egg production, and cell division and Folic Acid is used to help prevent major birth defects of the brain and spine.
Looks like I won't get my walk in tonight. The weather here in the DC area is rainy. I could always use the tread mil in our gym at our apartment complex, but I hate exercising indoors because I get bored and I don't last long.
So things are still good. Trying to stay as positive as I can. I know that we are doing everything we can to make this work this time and this feels good. I can't believe it's already May. July seems like it's right around the corner!=)
I hope everyone is doing well. Praying for those who are waiting for their BFPs and for those who are pregnant!
Lots of sticky baby dust to all!
Lauren
Thursday, May 6, 2010
..Day 5..
Here I am at Day 5 already. WOW! I still can't believe I'm actually doing all of this. I'm still doing well. I spoke with my Dr yesterday about the bleeding I was having and she said that it was normal as long as I'm not soaking a pad every hour. Lovely thing about having Endometriosis is it is very painful to wear Tampons. For years I could never understand why they hurt so bad. Ever since my first IVF cycle I've had to use pads most of the time...I hate them but they feel so much better and I'm not in as much pain. I'm only spotting now, so hopefully it stays like this and it goes away.
My next Lupron shot is 5/18/10. So far the side effects aren't that bad. I'm just really tired. Just praying it's doing what it's suppose to be doing. Still taking BCPs and I don't seem to be having any issues which is great.
Day 5 I did well. I ate breakfast again, got coffee from Sbux intending to get DECAF w/WHOLE MILK and got regular I was so distracted. I was so annoyed that I did this. Then, my sweet tooth was out-of-control yesterday! I normally do pretty well for sitting at a desk 8 hours a day with the exceptional food cravings once a month. Now that I'm not having periods I have no idea where the sweets craving is coming from. It doesn't help that the ladies I work with have a constant stash of candy laying around. It's so tempting.
I had another great walk. I've never enjoyed working out or looked forward to it. It's strange for me to be excited to get home from work and eat dinner so I can go walk. It really helps that our neighborhood is full of beautiful trees.
I'm still having lots of pressure down yonder and my Dr says not to worry. Obviously if the pain gets too bad to handle, then it's something to be concerned about. I hope it goes away and stays away this time.
6 days closer to start our journey towards parenthood! I'm so ready and so excited!=)
I have to get another walk in tonight because tomorrow and Friday my father-n-law will be in town to help us move my mother-n-law so there won't be much time for exercise. Hopefully Sunday after Mother's Day festivities I can squeeze one in.
Off to eat my morning snack.
Enjoy this beautiful day and don't work too hard!
Lauren
My next Lupron shot is 5/18/10. So far the side effects aren't that bad. I'm just really tired. Just praying it's doing what it's suppose to be doing. Still taking BCPs and I don't seem to be having any issues which is great.
Day 5 I did well. I ate breakfast again, got coffee from Sbux intending to get DECAF w/WHOLE MILK and got regular I was so distracted. I was so annoyed that I did this. Then, my sweet tooth was out-of-control yesterday! I normally do pretty well for sitting at a desk 8 hours a day with the exceptional food cravings once a month. Now that I'm not having periods I have no idea where the sweets craving is coming from. It doesn't help that the ladies I work with have a constant stash of candy laying around. It's so tempting.
I had another great walk. I've never enjoyed working out or looked forward to it. It's strange for me to be excited to get home from work and eat dinner so I can go walk. It really helps that our neighborhood is full of beautiful trees.
I'm still having lots of pressure down yonder and my Dr says not to worry. Obviously if the pain gets too bad to handle, then it's something to be concerned about. I hope it goes away and stays away this time.
6 days closer to start our journey towards parenthood! I'm so ready and so excited!=)
I have to get another walk in tonight because tomorrow and Friday my father-n-law will be in town to help us move my mother-n-law so there won't be much time for exercise. Hopefully Sunday after Mother's Day festivities I can squeeze one in.
Off to eat my morning snack.
Enjoy this beautiful day and don't work too hard!
Lauren
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
..Day 4..
***The rest of Day 3 went well. We had spaghetti for dinner that was amazing. I had a glass of whole milk for dinner{tasted like heavy cream, but so yummy} but didn't get my walk in due to the rain! Went to bed at a descent time but went to bed with a nasty headache. Overall it was a great day!
I can't believe it's already been 4 days since I started my IVF Diet!
I've been doing really well except for the getting up early in the morning part. I'm so tired lately probably thanks to the Lupron. Overall I feel pretty good. My positive attitude on things has really made a difference. I started to feel kinda yucky yesterday. I went to bed Monday night with a horrible headache and woke up with it. Then just when I thought it had stopped, the bleeding was back and heavy! I have been bleeding basically since April 9th and stopped for about 4 days for it to continue again yesterday morning. The pain/pressure on my rectum has started again and the pain when it's there is pretty intense. So I called my OBGYN and I'm waiting for a call back. I just want to make sure that nothing is wrong. I was doubled over in pain in the bathroom this morning here at work thinking I had to have a bowel movement, but it was just an intense amount of pain going from my rectum all the way into my bladder/uterus. Then the pain subsides and then I just feel the intense pressure. It hurts to sit and it hurts to walk. When I got this checked out a few weeks ago, my Dr said it was most likely from surgery. She removed endo from my bowel and bladder and the pain could be from this. Our biggest concern is getting me to July with all my parts in tack. My clock is ticking and we are trying to save me from a very early hysterectomy! I'm doing ok right now thank goodness. Just uncomfortable sitting at my desk. Even with all this to deal with, Im still HAPPY and feel great about everything!=)
Here is how Day 4 went:
Took my daily Prenatal with DHA{very important to take one with DHA because it helps with brain development}
Breakfast:
I ate at work too rushed at home. I had a piece of wheat toast with peanut butter and a half of grapefruit. I ate it like a champ and could have eaten more.
Lunch:
Chicken Salad sandwich on wheat toast, Greek strawberry yogurt and a non-caffeinated soda{not the best choice because of the sugars, but at least it was decaf}.
Snack:
Banana and a bunch of water{wanted more but started to not feel so well so I just stuck with water}
Dinner:
Cheated a little to make my hubby happy. We went to chipotle and I was not very hungry. I got a burrito and I think I ate like 4 bites of it and I was done. Didn't even snack later.
Exercise:
I got my walk in finally. We walked for about an hour and it felt amazing. I can't wait to go again tonight.
I went to bed at 10pm which is hard for me to do since I'm a night owl. I missed The Hills!=( So bummed but my body for our baby is way more important right now that a dumb reality TV show ya know?
I hope to go tonight to Trader Joes or Whole Foods to pick up some more of the essentials I need and the vitamins. After my walks, I'm so pooped the last thing I want to do is go back out.
I have what I need to get started with the diet I just want the added essentials that give you more of a boost in certain areas.
It makes me so happy that I feel so great about everything. This has been a very tough road for me and the fact that I'm able to push on and be happy consider what I'm currently dealing with with my body is huge! I give all the thanks to God! He has been by my side the whole time even when I didn't feel he was. He won't let us down. I just know it.
I'm anxiously waiting to find out the exact day we will be starting in July. Hope to know in the next week or two.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks again for all your wonderful comments, emails and hugs{my DS sisters know what these hugs are}=)! They mean a lot to me!
Talk to you all soon!
Lauren
I can't believe it's already been 4 days since I started my IVF Diet!
I've been doing really well except for the getting up early in the morning part. I'm so tired lately probably thanks to the Lupron. Overall I feel pretty good. My positive attitude on things has really made a difference. I started to feel kinda yucky yesterday. I went to bed Monday night with a horrible headache and woke up with it. Then just when I thought it had stopped, the bleeding was back and heavy! I have been bleeding basically since April 9th and stopped for about 4 days for it to continue again yesterday morning. The pain/pressure on my rectum has started again and the pain when it's there is pretty intense. So I called my OBGYN and I'm waiting for a call back. I just want to make sure that nothing is wrong. I was doubled over in pain in the bathroom this morning here at work thinking I had to have a bowel movement, but it was just an intense amount of pain going from my rectum all the way into my bladder/uterus. Then the pain subsides and then I just feel the intense pressure. It hurts to sit and it hurts to walk. When I got this checked out a few weeks ago, my Dr said it was most likely from surgery. She removed endo from my bowel and bladder and the pain could be from this. Our biggest concern is getting me to July with all my parts in tack. My clock is ticking and we are trying to save me from a very early hysterectomy! I'm doing ok right now thank goodness. Just uncomfortable sitting at my desk. Even with all this to deal with, Im still HAPPY and feel great about everything!=)
Here is how Day 4 went:
Took my daily Prenatal with DHA{very important to take one with DHA because it helps with brain development}
Breakfast:
I ate at work too rushed at home. I had a piece of wheat toast with peanut butter and a half of grapefruit. I ate it like a champ and could have eaten more.
Lunch:
Chicken Salad sandwich on wheat toast, Greek strawberry yogurt and a non-caffeinated soda{not the best choice because of the sugars, but at least it was decaf}.
Snack:
Banana and a bunch of water{wanted more but started to not feel so well so I just stuck with water}
Dinner:
Cheated a little to make my hubby happy. We went to chipotle and I was not very hungry. I got a burrito and I think I ate like 4 bites of it and I was done. Didn't even snack later.
Exercise:
I got my walk in finally. We walked for about an hour and it felt amazing. I can't wait to go again tonight.
I went to bed at 10pm which is hard for me to do since I'm a night owl. I missed The Hills!=( So bummed but my body for our baby is way more important right now that a dumb reality TV show ya know?
I hope to go tonight to Trader Joes or Whole Foods to pick up some more of the essentials I need and the vitamins. After my walks, I'm so pooped the last thing I want to do is go back out.
I have what I need to get started with the diet I just want the added essentials that give you more of a boost in certain areas.
It makes me so happy that I feel so great about everything. This has been a very tough road for me and the fact that I'm able to push on and be happy consider what I'm currently dealing with with my body is huge! I give all the thanks to God! He has been by my side the whole time even when I didn't feel he was. He won't let us down. I just know it.
I'm anxiously waiting to find out the exact day we will be starting in July. Hope to know in the next week or two.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks again for all your wonderful comments, emails and hugs{my DS sisters know what these hugs are}=)! They mean a lot to me!
Talk to you all soon!
Lauren
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
..what is an ivf diet..
A lot of people have asked me what exactly is the IVF Diet so I decided that a post was neccessary to help those who are interested. A lot of the information that I have I simply found on the internet as well as friends.
If you are about to start an IVF cycle, now is the time to start the IVF Diet. Typically it's done 2-3 months before the start of a cycle, but even starting a few weeks before will help. It's essential both before and after{eliminating certain food after your ET}.
Here is a list of things that make up the IVF Diet:
The diet helps in many ways. Helps with egg quality, uterine lining, implantation, prevention of M/C's and so on. I didn't want to leave anything out, so I have copied and pasted the article that I am following.
If you have any further questions, leave me a comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Maintaining a proper diet is key when trying to conceive. Meals should be healthy and balanced, containing foods from every food group.
Organic foods, whole wheat, fruits and vegetables can all help increase a woman's chance of becoming pregnant. These foods contain lots of vitamins and minerals, which are key to conception and fetal development.
Protein sources, such as meat and poultry, help maintain healthy level of iron. Low iron levels at the onset of pregnancy increase the risk of developing postpartum anemia, which reduces a new mom's energy. Post-partum anemia affects 27% of women.
Vegetarian diets are generally healthy, but iron supplements are sometimes needed to avoid anemia when a diet lacks reliable sources of iron and dairy. Calcium and B12 supplements may be recommended.
While many women are wary of fish because it contains mercury, you should still try to eat fish with low mercury levels. These are excellent sources of omega-3 fatty acids, which boost fertility and heart health. Mercury is toxic to the fetus and stays in a woman's bloodstream for over a year. Fish that's high in mercury includes white tuna, shark, frozen swordfish and marlin. Fish that contain low levels of mercury include salmon, flounder, trout, haddock, tilapia, and canned chunk light tuna (not albacore). Experts say that it is safe for women to have up to 12 ounces of low mercury fish per week. If women still feel wary about eating fish, or if they are vegetarians, flax seeds are another good source of omega-3. Extra omega-3 is now being added to many foods, including yogurts and breads.
Choosing breads with whole grains will help to ensure that you get enough fiber. Whole grains also contain nutrients that help to stimulate total body health.
Make sure that you're getting enough calcium. Dairy foods, such as milk, yogurt and cheese are all good sources, however, these foods contain saturated fats, which should only be consumed in moderation. Many vegetables, such as broccoli, kale and oranges are as good a source of calcium as dairy products. Fish, such as sardines and salmon, are also good sources of calcium.
Vegetables, such as peas, broccoli and pumpkin, are also excellent sources of fiber, vitamins and minerals. When choosing fruits and veggies, look for a bright hue; the brighter the color, the more nutrients the food contains. Blueberries, kale and red peppers are especially healthful. Antioxidants in these foods also help to counteract the negative effects of pollution and the sun on our bodies.
Oranges and lemons are a good food choice because they contain folic acid, which stimulates the development of female sex hormones, while reducing the risk of spina bifida in infants.
High-quality multivitamins are an excellent way to ensure that a diet contains enough nutrients. Vitamins containing zinc, folic acid and B vitamins are crucial. Zinc helps cell division in the development of the fetus, while a lack of zinc can decrease the production of healthy eggs prior to conception. Zinc is the only mineral conclusively shown to increase fertility rates. Vitamin B6 is rich in folic acid, while Vitamin B12 helps to absorb it. A supplement containing essential fatty acids is also important.
A high fluid intake is also important when trying to conceive. In order to stay hydrated, a woman trying to get pregnant should be doubly sure to drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water and natural fruit juices (that do not contain added sugar) per day.
Some other items not listed that I've heard are helpful:
Green tea
Red Raspberyy Leaf Tea
Sunflower Seeds
Pumpkin Seeds
Walnuts
Exercise - I am exercising 3-4 times a week for 30-40 minutes{helps my mental state and I feel so content after}
Being overweight or underweight can also be a huge factor in a successful IVF cycle. I tend to be on the underweight side, so I have to be really concious of what I'm eating so I don't loose weight. Eating foods higher in fat for me{non-greasy} helps me maintain a healthy body weight.
If I've left anything out, I'll be sure to update. I feel like I am.
I only followed a few of things my first IVF cycle and I got a BFN. I'm following this plan to the T and feel so positive about my next cycle.
I hope that I have helped you understand the importance of preparing your body for an IVF cycle.
Thanks,
Lauren
If you are about to start an IVF cycle, now is the time to start the IVF Diet. Typically it's done 2-3 months before the start of a cycle, but even starting a few weeks before will help. It's essential both before and after{eliminating certain food after your ET}.
Here is a list of things that make up the IVF Diet:
The diet helps in many ways. Helps with egg quality, uterine lining, implantation, prevention of M/C's and so on. I didn't want to leave anything out, so I have copied and pasted the article that I am following.
If you have any further questions, leave me a comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Maintaining a proper diet is key when trying to conceive. Meals should be healthy and balanced, containing foods from every food group.
Organic foods, whole wheat, fruits and vegetables can all help increase a woman's chance of becoming pregnant. These foods contain lots of vitamins and minerals, which are key to conception and fetal development.
Protein sources, such as meat and poultry, help maintain healthy level of iron. Low iron levels at the onset of pregnancy increase the risk of developing postpartum anemia, which reduces a new mom's energy. Post-partum anemia affects 27% of women.
Vegetarian diets are generally healthy, but iron supplements are sometimes needed to avoid anemia when a diet lacks reliable sources of iron and dairy. Calcium and B12 supplements may be recommended.
While many women are wary of fish because it contains mercury, you should still try to eat fish with low mercury levels. These are excellent sources of omega-3 fatty acids, which boost fertility and heart health. Mercury is toxic to the fetus and stays in a woman's bloodstream for over a year. Fish that's high in mercury includes white tuna, shark, frozen swordfish and marlin. Fish that contain low levels of mercury include salmon, flounder, trout, haddock, tilapia, and canned chunk light tuna (not albacore). Experts say that it is safe for women to have up to 12 ounces of low mercury fish per week. If women still feel wary about eating fish, or if they are vegetarians, flax seeds are another good source of omega-3. Extra omega-3 is now being added to many foods, including yogurts and breads.
Choosing breads with whole grains will help to ensure that you get enough fiber. Whole grains also contain nutrients that help to stimulate total body health.
Make sure that you're getting enough calcium. Dairy foods, such as milk, yogurt and cheese are all good sources, however, these foods contain saturated fats, which should only be consumed in moderation. Many vegetables, such as broccoli, kale and oranges are as good a source of calcium as dairy products. Fish, such as sardines and salmon, are also good sources of calcium.
Vegetables, such as peas, broccoli and pumpkin, are also excellent sources of fiber, vitamins and minerals. When choosing fruits and veggies, look for a bright hue; the brighter the color, the more nutrients the food contains. Blueberries, kale and red peppers are especially healthful. Antioxidants in these foods also help to counteract the negative effects of pollution and the sun on our bodies.
Oranges and lemons are a good food choice because they contain folic acid, which stimulates the development of female sex hormones, while reducing the risk of spina bifida in infants.
High-quality multivitamins are an excellent way to ensure that a diet contains enough nutrients. Vitamins containing zinc, folic acid and B vitamins are crucial. Zinc helps cell division in the development of the fetus, while a lack of zinc can decrease the production of healthy eggs prior to conception. Zinc is the only mineral conclusively shown to increase fertility rates. Vitamin B6 is rich in folic acid, while Vitamin B12 helps to absorb it. A supplement containing essential fatty acids is also important.
A high fluid intake is also important when trying to conceive. In order to stay hydrated, a woman trying to get pregnant should be doubly sure to drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water and natural fruit juices (that do not contain added sugar) per day.
Some other items not listed that I've heard are helpful:
Green tea
Red Raspberyy Leaf Tea
Sunflower Seeds
Pumpkin Seeds
Walnuts
Exercise - I am exercising 3-4 times a week for 30-40 minutes{helps my mental state and I feel so content after}
Being overweight or underweight can also be a huge factor in a successful IVF cycle. I tend to be on the underweight side, so I have to be really concious of what I'm eating so I don't loose weight. Eating foods higher in fat for me{non-greasy} helps me maintain a healthy body weight.
If I've left anything out, I'll be sure to update. I feel like I am.
I only followed a few of things my first IVF cycle and I got a BFN. I'm following this plan to the T and feel so positive about my next cycle.
I hope that I have helped you understand the importance of preparing your body for an IVF cycle.
Thanks,
Lauren
Monday, May 3, 2010
..Day 3..
I told myself before I went to sleep lastnight that I need to make the effort to get up ontime during the work week from here on out. I have been really bad lately and I feel like crap when I get to work because I was so rushed.
As of today 5/3/10 I can mark this as day 1 of achieving this goal. It feels so good to have followed through with my plan. Yay for me!=)
This is how my has started:
I woke up at 6:30{so not a morning person} and showered first thing. I then made my breakfast which consisted of the following items:
Lunch:
Had a hard time finding something at work high in protein so part of my lunch has been on track. I don't feel so bad since I got at least half right. No caffeine so far...this is huge for me! So far so good.
Snack:
Granola Bar and Cheese Nips
Dinner:
Spagetthi with Meat Sauce{suppose to eat lots of pasta which has Zinc..one of the supplements I will be taking soon}.
If the rain stays away, then after dinner I will walk for 30-40 minutes.
So we will see how the rest of the day goes.
Until tomorrow....
As of today 5/3/10 I can mark this as day 1 of achieving this goal. It feels so good to have followed through with my plan. Yay for me!=)
This is how my has started:
I woke up at 6:30{so not a morning person} and showered first thing. I then made my breakfast which consisted of the following items:
- 1/2 a grapefrut
- glass of OJ
- peach greek yogurt
- fresh blackberries with one banana cut up
Lunch:
Had a hard time finding something at work high in protein so part of my lunch has been on track. I don't feel so bad since I got at least half right. No caffeine so far...this is huge for me! So far so good.
Snack:
Granola Bar and Cheese Nips
Dinner:
Spagetthi with Meat Sauce{suppose to eat lots of pasta which has Zinc..one of the supplements I will be taking soon}.
If the rain stays away, then after dinner I will walk for 30-40 minutes.
So we will see how the rest of the day goes.
Until tomorrow....
..Day 2..
Day 1 was getting things prepared for this journey and mentally preparing myself. The changes started on Day 2.
Day 2 is for Sunday, May 2nd 2010...
Sunday 5/2/2010:
Today I officially started the preparations for my next IVF cycle in July. I have made a promise to myself that I would do everything possible to help increase our chances of bringing home our TAKE HOME BABY{actually conceiving and bringing home the baby 9 months later - this is big deal in the IF world}.
I started with Exercise:
Walked for 40 minutes around my neighborhood with my pup. We have a really nice walking trail behind our apartment that is perfect for my daily exercise. Pup loved it too. I felt so refreshed afterwards. If the rain will hold up, I will do another 30-40 minutes tonight{hoping DH comes this time}.
IVF Diet - Started off slow:
I went to the grocery store to get all the foods that I would need for the week to start my new mean plan. It consists of lots of fruit and foods high in calcium and protein.
Dinner wasn't really geared towards the diet, but like I said, I'm starting off slow. For an after dinner snack, I had a bowl full of fresh blackberries{so yummy} and a big glass of WHOLE MILk...Yes I said it, WHOLE MILK! Wow, I forgot how thick whole milk was. I grew up on whole milk, but in the past few years switched to 2% so this was a bit shocking at first. It was good even if it did upset my tummy a little.
Didn't snack on anything else{I'm known to be a late night snacker & the snacks I choose aren't the healthiest}. I went to bed around 11 pm and I felt so calm about things!
I'm very proud of myself for sticking to what I promised myself I would do. My health is important for our baby to come and I don't want to do anything to jeopordize this from happening.
Can't wait to update you on Day 3!
Chao,
Lauren
Day 2 is for Sunday, May 2nd 2010...
Sunday 5/2/2010:
Today I officially started the preparations for my next IVF cycle in July. I have made a promise to myself that I would do everything possible to help increase our chances of bringing home our TAKE HOME BABY{actually conceiving and bringing home the baby 9 months later - this is big deal in the IF world}.
I started with Exercise:
Walked for 40 minutes around my neighborhood with my pup. We have a really nice walking trail behind our apartment that is perfect for my daily exercise. Pup loved it too. I felt so refreshed afterwards. If the rain will hold up, I will do another 30-40 minutes tonight{hoping DH comes this time}.
IVF Diet - Started off slow:
I went to the grocery store to get all the foods that I would need for the week to start my new mean plan. It consists of lots of fruit and foods high in calcium and protein.
Dinner wasn't really geared towards the diet, but like I said, I'm starting off slow. For an after dinner snack, I had a bowl full of fresh blackberries{so yummy} and a big glass of WHOLE MILk...Yes I said it, WHOLE MILK! Wow, I forgot how thick whole milk was. I grew up on whole milk, but in the past few years switched to 2% so this was a bit shocking at first. It was good even if it did upset my tummy a little.
Didn't snack on anything else{I'm known to be a late night snacker & the snacks I choose aren't the healthiest}. I went to bed around 11 pm and I felt so calm about things!
I'm very proud of myself for sticking to what I promised myself I would do. My health is important for our baby to come and I don't want to do anything to jeopordize this from happening.
Can't wait to update you on Day 3!
Chao,
Lauren
..preparing for IVF#2-day 1..
Today is May 1st. Two months before July 1st when we can officially start IVF#2! I won't know the official date of when we start until the middle/end of May. Since I have been through the IVF roller coaster before, I know what to expect this time. I know how to prepare my body and mind ahead of time for a successful cycle. The first go-around as hard as it was to accept that it didn't work, I consider it our trial run. I learned so much during this time. I plan to do things differently this time. We want this to work and to know that we tried everything we possibly could. I'm excited for this next cycle and look forward to the steps leading up to it. There are few things that I will be focused on doing that they say are the key to a successful IVF cycle. I have done my research and I feel confident that with these changes that I will be making, we will see a difference.
To give you an idea of what my next 2-3 months will entail, I have listed them below:
1. Exercise for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week.
2. Start the IVF diet - It's a diet high in protein with lost of fresh veggies. There is a huge list of things to eat that help with numerous things that go along with each step of how an embryo is formed and how it implants into the uterus. Implantation is key to an embryos survival and we believe that this was one of our problems last time.
3. Accupuncture - Helps with blood flow to the uterus, egg quality, egg quantity, hormone levels and overall physcial health. My insurance covers 40 visits so thankfully this will be free for us.
4. Being ass stress free as I can. The more relaxed I am, the more responsive my body will be.
5. Vitamin Supplements - Calcium, Zinc, Vitamin E, B6, B12.
6. Positive Attitude. I feel good about things this time. It has been hard to have a positive attiude towards something so difficult to deal with. But I have seen God's hands work in so many woman's lifes this past year, I believe He will do the same for us.
I am committed to this new lifestyle! I will do whatever it takes for us to be able to have a baby of our own. It's going to take a lot of discipline and sacrifices, but in the end, it's so worth it and I wouldn't change a thing.
Thanks again everyone for all your love and support! It means the world to me and my husband!
Till next time!
Lots of sticky baby dust to all,
Lauren
To give you an idea of what my next 2-3 months will entail, I have listed them below:
1. Exercise for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week.
2. Start the IVF diet - It's a diet high in protein with lost of fresh veggies. There is a huge list of things to eat that help with numerous things that go along with each step of how an embryo is formed and how it implants into the uterus. Implantation is key to an embryos survival and we believe that this was one of our problems last time.
3. Accupuncture - Helps with blood flow to the uterus, egg quality, egg quantity, hormone levels and overall physcial health. My insurance covers 40 visits so thankfully this will be free for us.
4. Being ass stress free as I can. The more relaxed I am, the more responsive my body will be.
5. Vitamin Supplements - Calcium, Zinc, Vitamin E, B6, B12.
6. Positive Attitude. I feel good about things this time. It has been hard to have a positive attiude towards something so difficult to deal with. But I have seen God's hands work in so many woman's lifes this past year, I believe He will do the same for us.
I am committed to this new lifestyle! I will do whatever it takes for us to be able to have a baby of our own. It's going to take a lot of discipline and sacrifices, but in the end, it's so worth it and I wouldn't change a thing.
Thanks again everyone for all your love and support! It means the world to me and my husband!
Till next time!
Lots of sticky baby dust to all,
Lauren
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